A non-religious funeral is not a funeral with something missing. It has the same shape as any good ceremony — a gathering, a remembering, a farewell — with the meaning drawn from the loved one's life rather than from scripture.
A workable structure
- Welcome and an acknowledgement of why everyone has come
- The tribute — the life told properly, in order and in detail
- Family and friends speaking, one or two at most so it doesn't blur
- Music that the person actually loved, not music that suits a funeral
- A moment of ritual: candles, photographs, a poem, a shared silence
- The committal or farewell, then clear directions about what happens next
Inclusive without being empty
Christchurch is a diverse city, and most gatherings contain people of several faiths and of none. A secular ceremony can hold all of them: it invites everyone to reflect in their own way rather than asking them to participate in something they don't believe.
If part of the family would like a prayer or a hymn included, that can be done respectfully as a named part of the service rather than as the frame around it.